Can't Go Back by Phoenix Storm
Chapter One
Dressed in baggy overalls and a green well-fitting green T-shirt, the 19-yr. old girl sighed as she lugged the three bulky boxes up the stairs to her friend's new apartment.
Stupidly, she had piled them one of top of another, so that she would have to make fewer trips up and down the stairs. Great idea in theory, not so great in practice.
'How do I get myself conned into these things. I
Instead, here I am stuck helping him move in,' she thought to herself as she trudged up the steps barely able to see where she was going.
'You volunteered, remember?' a rebellious part of her mind replied.
'I couldn't let him try to do all of this by himself!' she retorted defensively.
"Great now I'm talking to myself," she said with a roll of her eyes.
Through a crack between the boxes, which were blocking most of her view, she saw a flash of white as her friend stepped out of the apartment, looking down upon her plight with obvious amusement.
It was only then that she noticed that the reason she was having so much difficulty was that the boxes had managed to slip in her arms during her musings so that they were now half out of her arms, resting against the railing of the narrow staircase of the small two story apartment building, making it almost impossible for her to move.
'Now, what am I supposed to do,' she thought, 'I'm trapped.'
'That's what I get for trying to carry three boxes up at once,' groaned Kagome, as she glared at her golden-eyed friend, who appeared to be using his icy control in his struggle not to laugh.
And losing miserably.
"Oi!" she shouted, "This is your stuff you know! You could come down and help me carry it into your apartment."
Sesshoumaru smirked before walking down and gracefully carrying all three troublesome boxes up the rest of the stairs and into his new apartment with his characteristic sangfroid.
"Show off," huffed Kagome as she quickly followed.
The apartment itself was amazing, and she could tell that Sesshoumaru was proud of it. It had one bedroom, a spacious living room, a bathroom, and kitchen. Though, not a mansion, it was still impressive for a graduate student working to get his MBA.
Unfortunately, the reason the apartment was so cheap was that every wall in the apartment was painted a glaring bubble gum pink and not at all furnished.
He refused to accept money from his father to buy the apartment, in favor of trying to earn it on his own. He had not wished to accept favors from his father since he had married that wench.
Watching his swinging white hair, she couldn't help but feel her resentment die away and become replaced with the all-encompassing calm that she now associated with his presence.
Kagome sighed as she looked around at the organized chaos that was Sesshoumaru's apartment.
'It's going to be a loooong day,'
Knowing Sesshoumaru, he had been here since six in the morning meticulously cleaning the apartment, and had just gotten the place decent enough to begin carrying his things in. He was very insistent on cleanliness and kept himself immaculate at all times.
They were all piled in the center of the living room not to be unpacked until the painting was finished. He refused to live in a bubble gum pink apartment.
Sesshoumaru entered and dumped the last of the boxes into neatly stacked pile that now took up most of the room and almost reached to ceiling.
"Sesshou, I think there's a flaw in your plan," Kagome said as she looked upon the intimidating pile of boxes, "Exactly how do you plan on unpacking all of this stuff after we've finished painting?"
'Damn...' Sesshoumaru thought as he regarded the dilemma. "We'll just have to take down this mountain of boxes." He coolly replied as he mental berated himself for not thinking of this sooner.
"Well, it's a good thing that Sango and Miroku promised to stop by later and help," grumbled Kagome. She was not a morning person, and anything that forced her to wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday was automatically deemed evil.
But...
She knew that if she had not volunteered Sesshoumaru would have tried to do it all by himself, which was simply unacceptable. Luckily, while he might not prone to ask for help, he was smart enough to accept it when it was offered. He especially seemed to find it easier to swallow his great pride when it came to her.
Tucking some of the stray hair that had managed to escape her messy bun behind her ear, she grabbed a large sheet and tossed it over the pile to ensure that none of the boxes would accidentally get paint on them. "Well, let's get started!" she stated with a one of her light-hearted smiles.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
"Why do I have to go?" Inuyasha grumbled in a distinctly whiny tone as his father sent a warning glare towards his youngest son, "It's not like Sesshoumaru's going to even want me there. In case you haven't noticed we aren't exactly close.
Inutaisho rolled his eyes, and replied, "Why is it that the two of you despise each other with such a passion?"
He would never be able to understand why his two sons shared such a disliking for each other. True, their personalities were far from similar, but they were still family. 'Shouldn't that count for something?' Feeling the familiar beginnings of a headache, he remembered all of the arguments, most of which had ended with violence and injuries on both parties, and insuls. It had been this way for years, and it aggravated and exasperated him to no end.
"Sesshoumaru is finally moving into a new apartment. Don't you want to see it and help? Besides this is a family event, we are all going. We've barely seen Sesshoumaru at all since he left for college."
"Why would I want to see that cold, pompous, arrogant half-brother of mine?"
Finally Inutaisho's limited patience snapped. "YOU WILL COME WITH US TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER! YOU WILL HELP HIM MOVE INTO HIS NEW APARTMENT! AND YOU WILL ENJOY! THIS IS A FAMILY EVENT! NO IF, ANDS, OR BUTS ABOUT IT! YOU ARE GOING INUYASHA SO GET INTO THAT CAR RIGHT NOW!" hollered the irate man.
Inutaisho was a powerful and very successful businessman, owner of Fugio Enterprises. He was not a man to be toyed with or disobeyed. "Feh," replied Inuyasha intelligently as he joined his mother in the BMW. Inutaisho gave a satisfied grunt as he stepped into the driver's seat to go visit his son.
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru and Kagome looked up from their positions on the ground; identical shocked expression decorating all of their faces.
Sesshoumaru managed to collect himself in the space of a heartbeat. Quickly slipping back on his cold, emotionless mask and standing in one fluid motion, Sesshoumaru reached down to help drag up a still unnerved Kagome.
Before the intruders could make another move Sesshoumaru was standing and striding towards the door, with a stunned Kagome following.
Unlike Sesshoumaru, Kagome was blushing furiously, and still attempting to get her bearings.
'INUYASHA!' she mentally screamed to herself 'What is he
While Sesshoumaru was just as embarrassed as Kagome, possibly even more so for being caught acting so unusually, he had the self-presence not to reveal even a hint of his inner abashment in his cool demeanor as he confidentially walked to the door of his apartment.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
'What was HIS Kagome doing sitting on top of his BROTHER in his apartment?!?!?!' Inuyasha mentally fumed as he saw Sesshoumaru stand and help a very surprised Kagome up.
'But then again, she wasn't really HIS anymore, was she...'
* * * * * * * * Flash Back * * * * * * * * * * *
A heavy summer rain was drenching everything in sight. It seemed oddly appropriate, as if the very sky was ripping open and crying.
A 17-yr. old Kagome stood facing Inuyasha with her usually jovial eyes filled with sorrow. The pouring rain making it impossible to see the tears that were flowing down her crushed face.
"Why?" she asked.
Though, he could not give her an answer, at least not one that was worthy of her. He merely stood in front of her his amber eyes locked with hers locked, hoping that somehow they could explain or at least portray the apology that he couldn't.
"I trusted you, Inuyasha. I gave you everything that I could! My heart and soul! I held nothing back from you! I was ALWAYS there for you, and I always trusted you! How could you betray me! You told me that you would protect me forever! Make sure that no one would ever hurt me again! But you never protected me from yourself! You betrayed me and broke my heart, Inuyasha!
You broke my trust!"
She screamed, her spirit broken.
Inuyasha looked at her. His best friend, his now ex-girlfriend.
She looked as if the world had tumbled down around her, crushing her spirit.
This girl who had mended his broken heart, who had shown him a world of light and happiness that never would have been able to find otherwise, who always seemed to have a smile just for him even when the world did its worst to her.
She had bared her soul to him, even given him her first kiss. She had stayed by his side even at his worst, when no one else would.
And he had betrayed her.
"Why?" she whispered. Her head hung down, letting her now soaking hair cover her face, so that he could no longer see her face.
He whispered the phrase that he knew would make her understand. That would prove his betrayal of her. "I love her, Kagome. I love Kikyou."
He saw her shoulder slump in defeat.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispered, every word ringing with truth, before he turned and walked away, leaving a beaten Kagome behind him.
* * * * * * * End Flash Back * * * * * * * * *
'She moved right after that. Her mom sent her to another boarding school after she found her crying in the shrine's well house and found out what happened. It's a miracle I got any of her friends to tell me that much. I never got to see her again.... What is she doing here now?!?!' thought Inuyasha, 'Somebody up there must
~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru strode to the front door with all of his normal reserve, nothing in his manner hinting at the embarrassing scene that his father and brother had walked in on.
"Kagome, This is my father, Fugio InuTaisho, and my
Turning to face his family, he continued "Father, this is Higurashi Kagome."
"NANI? H-h-h he's your BROTHER!" Kagome managed to choke out, when she had finally overcome part of her shock.
"HALF-brother," corrected Sesshoumaru, his outwardly calm demeanor marred for an instant with irritation.
"Yoroshiku ne, Kagome" Inutaisho greeted politely, noticing the awkward silence that was beginning to develop.
Kagome's expressive eyes were still wide with shock, and her mind unable to form coherent thoughts.
'Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod' her useless mind rambled while Kagome attempted to process what was happening.
Quickly flashing Kagome a worried glance, Sesshoumaru noticed that her reaction was much worse than it should have been in such a situation.
She may have been embarrassed and flustered, but there was no accounting for the pure shock and horror that was etched deeply into her eyes, or her prolonged silence, as if she weren't all there.
Normally, she would have bounced right back into her usual cheerful self, but something was obviously seriously bothering, and he had a feeling it had to do with the arrival of his
"Kagome," he said in his impassive voice, turning to fix her with his golden gaze softening slightly when it met her unfocused, almost panic-stricken eyes.
"We seem to be running low on paint. Would you run to the hardware store and buy a few more cans?" he asked, clearly giving her an opportunity to run and collect her thoughts, as she so desperately needed to do.
Snapping out of her memory-induced daze, Kagome quickly flashed Sesshoumaru a thankful smile and ran out the door, pushing past a confused Inutaisho and son and barely remembering to grab her bag on the way out.
He couldn't help, but notice that she made sure to avoid touching his brother.
Kagome flew down the stairs of the apartment building and into her car before she could even blink. The only coherent, if you could call it that, thought in her mind was to get as far away from that apartment as she could, and as quickly as she could.
She had driven all the way to the hardware store before her conscious mind regained control, and she had left behind her fight-or-flight mode.
She slumped in the drivers seat of her car, her head resting against the cool, black leather of the steering wheel, as her midnight hair pooled around her creating a shield between her and the rest of the world.
Her shoulder sagged under the emotional barrage she had just suffered, and simply lay there for a moment, staring out at the passing people content with their lives. Sighing, she pushed back her hair, and leaned back into the seat, thinking over what she had just seen.
'It doesn't make any sense. How can they be brothers? They don't even look alike,' she thought mentally comparing the two.
Sesshoumaru's elegant, sophisticated beauty was nothing like Inuyasha's boyish good looks.
The two were as different as day and night, literally, with Sesshoumaru's unusual pure white hair that almost seemed to almost glow and Inuyasha's unruly ebony locks that refused to stay in any tie and hung loosely down his back.
Sesshoumaru was reserved, the epitome of calm, cold maturity where Inuyasha was outspoken and brash.
Their eyes were the one feature that set them most apart, with Sesshoumaru's heated golden gaze completely unlike Inuyasha's roughish deep purple ones.
'They don't even have the same family name,' complained Kagome until she remembered that Sesshoumaru used his mother's maiden name. Groaning mentally, she chided herself for forgetting, especially since he had given her an oddly lonely and hard look after that clearly stated that the subject was not to be questioned further, end. of. discussion.
'I thought that I was finally moving on with a new life.
'I thought that I was finally over him. But here I am hiding like a coward, running away from the past that's come back to bite me in the butt. Running away again . . . .
'My life was finally getting back on track. I thought that I left him behind. But all he has to do is show up and I feel broken all over again.
'I don't want to feel this broken again. Like everything inside of me. Everything that makes me Kagome is shattered and broken into a million pieces.
'It still hurts. It still hurts so much.'
* * * * * * * * * Flash Back * * * * * * * * * *
A bright-faced Kagome ran along the pavement to the park holding her schoolbooks close as she raced through the park towards Inuyasha's tree. He always seemed to be sitting there whether sulking or just thinking. She pushed some of the hair that the damp air was making stick to her forehead out of her face.
However, the sight that met her eyes when she got there was enough to shred her heart to tatters.
Inuyasha was standing under the tree standing FAR too close to a dark-haired girl for comfort. A girl that wasn't Kagome.
Stepping closer, but still not making her presence known, she watched as Inuyasha wrapped his arms around the girl and pulled her into a tight embrace. The girl silently tilted her face up to look into Inuyasha's eyes and the identity of the girl was confirmed.
It was Kikyou.
Part of her had known who it was as soon as she had seen them, the sixth sense that also told her when something disastrous was going to happen.
But another part of her had held out hope, and it was that sick part of her that made her stay, standing silently and watching as her love held another, the pain in her chest making it difficult for her to breath.
Wordlessly she watched as the two longingly gazed into each other eyes, the love evident in every movement and every breath.
Their bodies seeming to fit perfectly together, completely content to just stand there holding each other. This was not some tryst to be forgiven and forgotten.
It was love . . .
And then she saw Kikyou rise slightly and press her lips lightly against Inuyasha's and his eyes softly flutter closed as he leaned into her warm lips.
Feeling something wet trickle down her face, Kagome raised one trembling hand to her face and realized that she was crying. Not able to hold out any longer a single sob escaped her lips alerting the couple.
Inuyasha's head snapped up and he met her eyes.
'Why doesn't he look away!?!?!' her mind screamed, but her heart already knew the answer. His face was filled with sorrow and pity, but not shame. Not love for her.
Not wanting to face this pain any longer, she ran. Blindly stumbling away from the lovers, tears coursing down her face, she ran. Not caring to where as long as she did not have to face them any longer.
As if on cue, the skies split open and the rain whose threat had hung in the humid air all day poured down upon the sorrowful girl, as if in pity, washing the tears from her face only to have new ones form.
Shortly after, she heard footsteps following her, not turning to the pitying face of her first love, she quickened her pace only to slip on the now damp ground in her haste and tear-blinded eyes.
Bracing for the jarring hit, she closed her eyes awaiting the painful meeting with the dirt path.
Only to have it never come, as a pair of strong, familiar arms caught her from behind. She felt herself instinctively melt into the comforting embrace she knew so well only to stiffen as she remembered what she had just seen.
Looking up into Inuyasha's pitying eyes, she felt the pain overwhelm her as she wrenched herself from his grasp.
"Why?" she asked, the one word flooded with all of her emotions and her betrayal as her haunting eyes locked with his.
When he did not reply, merely staring into her eyes with that horrible pity and apology. She thought even hate would be better than the pity she saw in them.
Finally, unable to stand the aching pressure within her any longer,
She snapped.
* * * * * * * * * * End Flash Back * * * * * * * * * *
Sesshoumaru coldly glanced at his father and his miserable excuse for a brother after Kagome left the room, tensing as Kagome left the apartment.
He was fuming inwardly that his family had caught him in such a compromising situation with Kagome.
Especially, when he had actually been enjoying himself.
He gave a mental sigh, letting none of his frustrations mar his icy demeanor.
When had she changed him so much, he would never have even considered such behavior before he met her, and certainly would not have publicly acted so warmly or at least warmly for him, towards her when his family interrupted.
Eyeing the emotions that ran across his father and brothers faces with amusement and curiosity, in Inuyasha's case, he wondered why Kagome had reacted the way that she did.
She had seemed horrified and pained after the initial shock had worn away. He had seen the way she had stared at his brother, as if he was a trusted childhood teddy bear that had just stabbed her in the back, literally.
Sesshoumaru knew her well enough to know that she needed time on her own to think things out, and sent her out to collect herself, knowing full well that there were still 6 cans of paint in his bedroom.
His brother's reaction was even more difficult to understand.
The shock was simple enough to understand, he had not seen Sesshoumaru in many years, nor seen the changes that Kagome had wrought to icy walls that surrounded his heart.
His behavior had been extremely out of character, and would seem even more so to his ignorant brother.
The possessive anger that quickly replaced that shock was far more interesting and perplexing.
To his knowledge, Kagome had never known his brother. Though they did not discuss every aspect of their pasts, Sesshoumaru felt that he did know the girl well enough to know if she had met his bastard brother.
But if they had never met that possessive spark in Inuyasha's eyes that clearly screamed, "MINE!" would be completely unexplainable.
The regretful sorrow that he saw soon after and the confusion that had quickly followed baffled him even more.
He knew that he would have to question Kagome about her relation with his brother, but the pained sorrowful look in her eyes warned him away from the topic.
At least until they were alone.
That sadness did not belong in her bright eyes, and he was illogically determined to keep it from touching her life ever again. She was a creature of light never to be diminished by the shadows of sorrow and pain.
Not if
~*~*~*~
Noticing the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the room, Fugio Inutaisho cleared his throat casting a questioning look on his eldest son.
"Who was that Sesshoumaru? Your girlfriend?" he asked the amusement evident in his voice.
With a cool glance at his younger brother, Sesshoumaru faced his father with his normal impervious coat of ice.
"She is merely an acquaintance from school," he replied every word dropping the temperature in the room several degrees and indicating that the subject was CLOSED.
Inutaisho watched as the almost warm innocence that his son had displayed earlier with that Kagome girl was frozen over with Sesshoumaru's normal icy mask.
'Somehow that girl's managed to get under Sesshoumaru's skin, and even done the impossible and changed him a little bit. Well, this is very interesting,' he thought as he studied his son, 'he's always been so serious, adult, and cold, as if he was trying to shut the world out, but apparently he's let that girl in. I haven't seen him so playful since he was a little boy.
Since my betrayal . . .
Since his mother died . . .'
He mentally sighed as he remembered watching his once warm and loving son retreat into himself building walls of ice around his heart.
'I hope he has the sense to keep her around long enough to change him for good, and bring back a bit of the little boy that was buried when his mother died.'
"She was very pretty," he commented with a knowing smile, hoping to give his stubborn son a
"I'm going down to the car to get Sakura," he said before he quickly left the room, leaving the two brothers alone.
After a full ten minutes of glaring on Inuyasha's part and disinterested silence on Sesshoumaru's, Inuyasha finally snapped, "What is Kagome to you!?!"
(A/N: I could be REALLY evil and leave you guys hanging here, but I value my life so on with the show)
"What does it matter to you?" Sesshoumaru coolly inquired while studying the swirl of emotions that played across his brother's face in swift succession, trying to interpret the cause behind them with little success.
Trying to control the urge to throttle his emotionless, marble statue of a brother, Inuyasha merely glared in response, the full force of his anger shown through his violet eyes still not managing to affect Sesshoumaru's impassive mask.
The tension between the two was a pulsating, tangible pressure that weighed down the air in the room making it difficult to breathe. Though Sesshoumaru gave no hint that it was affecting him, merely looking down upon Inuyasha with that hard, cold golden stare as if he were nothing but vermin that had dared to enter his home and challenge him.
Just when the Inuyasha seemed ready to snap under the tension and punch Sesshoumaru in the jaw, Inutaisho returned his arms full of bits and odds of furniture, with a woman, who appeared to be in her late thirties following.
Bearing a remarkable resemblance to Inuyasha, the woman had her waist-length jet-black hair in an ornate chignon and kind, deep purple, almost indigo, eyes that sparkled with life. Her smile was a quiet, gentle one, unobtrusive and not comparatively remarkable, but comfortable enough that someone could spend the rest of his life staring at it.
"We heard that your apartment didn't come furnished, so we thought that we would bring some things that were just laying around the house," Sakura said sweetly, breaking the tension as she glanced between her son and stepson.
"That was unnecessary," coolly replied Sesshoumaru as he took the boxes from his father's arms and deposited them in the now enormous pile of boxes that was dominating the center of the room.
Sakura reflexively winced at his cold tone, slightly hurt by his frigid stoicism, but quickly brushed off his icy, unthankful reaction, used to his ways.
'I know that I can never replace his mother, but I have the feeling that he still blames me for taking her place in his family.
He's never let me in; always so cold and distant, the only thing keeping him from ignoring me completely is his respect for his father.
I know that I will never have that respect from him.
He will never accept me as part of his family, the memories of his mother will always be more real to him than I am,' she thought with a resignation and sorrow, watching as they continued to transfer the furniture that she had bought for him into the apartment.
Surveying the now significantly larger pile in the center of the room, Sesshoumaru mentally calculated just exactly how much furniture that was
'So,' Sesshoumaru mused, 'does she really believe that I, Sesshoumaru, would not see past her obvious lie. She knows that I would not accept her charity.'
Seeing the ulterior motive that he knew had to be there, he thought, 'Can she truly be as foolish as to believe that I will be bribed by these trifles?
I will never accept her as my mother.'
(A/N:: I originally had something cooler and longer and better thought out written but my comp crashed
* * * * * * * * * Flash Back * * * * * * * *
A young boy about four years old laughed as he ran up the grassy hill, long snow-white hair trailing behind him, into his mother's arms.
The woman was stunning in every way.
Her vivacious sage-colored eyes sparkled with life and exuberance, revealing a personality that reveled in simply living life. Her delicate features, which contained a grace and sophistication that was rare in the modern day, were almost identical to those of her son, though his were softened by childhood to look even more innocent.
His coloration might come from his father, but his face was hers.
Her lithe athletic form was well proportioned, and promised a healthy future, not containing the same delicacy as her face suggested.
But there was something forceful about her, a passionate thirst to conquer life and all the world. That rejoiced in everything about life, and sought to teach her son that same joy. Underneath her graceful beauty lay a strength, and an iron will.
As she gathered her son into her lap, every movement showed a warm, mother's love, fiercely protective, and caring and gentle at the same time. Her family was the center of her world, and her son the center of her family, and he knew it, basking in the attention and warm security of his childhood like grass soaking in sunshine.
Sesshoumaru turned and favored his mother with a bright smile, full of childhood's innocence. His large, expressive amber eyes, which took up far too much space on his small almost feminine face, shining with a simple contentment to be in her arms as he toyed with the pendant that hung on her neck.
* * * * * * * * * * End Flash back * * * * * * *
No, he would never betray his mother's memory that way . . .
~*~*~*~
A few rebellious tears managed to trickle forth from Kagome's eyes, betraying the pain and sorrow she still felt at Inuyasha's betrayal. Impatiently she wiped them away with a pale hand, mentally scolding herself for her weakness.
'Come on, Kagome. Get it together, girl! You've spent enough tears over him already. You need to move on! Remember? You can't linger in the past.
You can't go back.
Inuyasha loves Kikyou, and there's nothing that you can do about it. You have to let it go.
You have to let him go.
You can't blame him for not loving you . . .'
She angrily brushed away the tears that had escaped with this new comment. Suddenly a realization hit her, making her feel as if she had suddenly been plunged into a tub of ice cold water
'God, I'm going to have to go back there and face
Not to mention Sesshoumaru and his family.'
She blushed as she remembered the position that they had found her and Sesshoumaru in, but the memory did make her smile. The few times that Sesshoumaru let down his cold façade enough to simply be himself around her were to be cherished.
Though he seemed to be doing so more and more often recently. . .
'Why didn't he tell me that Inuyasha was his brother? Then again he never talks about his family that much. And there is always that sad almost longing look in his eyes when I talk about mine.
I never did tell him about Inuyasha anyway. It hurt too much to talk about him, but I guess I have no choice now, and it can't hurt as much as seeing him again . . .
As much as remembering . . .
But I can't let this affect me. I've come too far to give it all up now. I promised Sesshou that I'd help him move in, and I will. I have to be strong. I'm a resilient girl, and I
She set her face with her newfound determination and marched into the store, buying two more cans of paint for appearance's sake before turning back to Sesshoumaru's apartment to face her past again.. . .
~*~*~*~
A young man with piercing purple eyes and a carefree smile glanced over at the woman next to him as he drove down the street. The woman, who had her long coal black hair tied into a high ponytail, nervously smiled back twisting her hands in her lap.
"Relax, Sango. You have nothing to worry about. Calm down. What could go wrong?" Houshi Miroku said in his deep soothing voice as he watched Sango's nervous expression quickly change to one of anger.
"What could go wrong?!? Are you kidding me, Miroku? You mean besides the fact that Inuyasha is going to be at Sesshoumaru's apartment today?
The same Inuyasha that can't seem to stay in the same side of the GLOBE as Sesshoumaru without trying to kill him!
Not to mention the fact that Kagome is going to be there too. Kagome, who was CRUSHED when she found out that Inuyasha had cheated on her with that--that--that" at this point Sango's vocabulary apparently ran out of words to describe the other girl who had ruined things so badly for her friend. And she merely fumed at the calm face of her boyfriend, that carefree smile seriously grating on her nerves.
(A/N:: Yes, Sango and Miroku are dating)
"And they haven't seen each other in YEARS! Kagome went across Japan to get away from him, and now they're going to meet again. Not to mention that you would have to be blind not to see that Kagome and Sesshoumaru care for one another! Even if they are too stupid to see it themselves."
Miroku gazed upon Sango fury with an unbridled calm, enjoying the fiery spark that had entered her eyes during her rant. And the way that her chest seemed to heave up and down . . . (A/N:: Hey, he's a pervert remember? And I am trying to keep him in character)
Noticing where Miroku's gaze had strayed while she yelled, Sango brought her bag down on his head with a dull thud, shouting, "HENTAI!!!" as she took over the wheel of the car when the semi-conscious Miroku slumped in his chair. A casual observer would notice that they seemed to have WAAAAY too much experience with such behavior.
"And once that they find out that WE KNEW all this time and didn't say a thing.
I mean we've known Inuyasha for years! True, it wasn't until Kagome came along that we really became friends, but we still can't say that we didn't notice his brother around. I mean Sesshoumaru is pretty hard to miss. And when Inuyasha realizes that we've known where Kagome was all along and didn't tell him!!!" Sango continued as Miroku recovered from the jarring blow to his head. (A/N:: I know that Sango's a little out of character here *wards off flying tomatoes* but just bear with me. When you think about it how calm would U be in this situation)
"My dear, Sango, calm down," he replied as he wondered exactly what she kept in that bag of hers *bricks?*
"We had no choice, but to act the way we did given the situation. You know very well, that we could not have betrayed Kagome by telling Inuyasha where she was, when she so obviously wanted no more to do with him.
And every time his name was even mentioned around her, you could see the hurt in her eyes just as easily as I could. I do not know about you, but I was not about dredge up that part of her past," he concluded take back the wheel from Sango.
Sango sighed and leaned against the taller boy in defeat, hoping that he wouldn't take the opportunity to fondle her.
"I know."
'I remember too. . .'
* * * * * * * * * * * * Flash Back * * * * * * * * *
Working on a particularly stubborn advanced calculus problem, a young woman sat at one of the two cheap but sturdy desks that decorated the small dorm room that the administration in some fit of insanity had actually believed could house two growing college students.
A scraggly, thin light blue carpet that had seen FAR too many years covered the floor, itching her bare feet. Her slim form bent over the desk studying the textbook with deep brown eyes that were slightly tainted with old sorrow. Her head bent in concentration, as her presence spoke of great strength both mental and physical.
Without warning, a loud slam jolted her from her math-induced daze
Sango looked up as her roommate stormed in the room, liquid brown eyes (A/N:: the roommate's not Sango's) flashing with anger. Stomping over to throw her backpack onto the small twin-sized bed of their dorm, Kagome sat down and proceeded to furiously wrestle her books from over-stuffed bag. "What's the matter, Kagome-chan?" Kagome's curious roommate inquired as she watched her friend apparently attempt to beat her book bag into submission and release her books.
"That pompous, self-important, unfeeling, arrogant BAKA!" responded Kagome, her expression dark with fury. Sango could almost feel the waves of anger that were radiating off of her friend's rigid form.
"I overslept and was late for my first Ancient Japanese History class, so the TA tried to HUMILIATE me in front of the entire class! And if that weren't bad enough, he assigned us all an IMPOSSIBLY long paper for MONDAY! AND the teacher even didn't show up for the entire class!" ranted Kagome her eyes, voice, and face more alive than they had been for a while.
Sango watched her friend's tirade with amusement.
'It's like she's finally woken up! She's been like a ghost for this past year, ever since the break up, wearing a smiling face for everyone but still never showing any of her true spirit. Her eyes always so tired and sad, but now she's just angry.
I never thought that I would be this happy just to see Kagome angry. I would choose the fury in her voice right now to the dead tone that it held so often before, any day. This guy must have really gotten under her skin to finally bring back our old Kagome,' she thought with a smile.
"Yeah, I hear that the professor for that class never even bothers to teach any of his classes if they aren't for graduate students, and that he has his TA's basically teach all of them for him.
Soooo, it
Kagome stopped her battle with her obstinate book bag to look at Sango in disbelief. "Oh, Great," she groaned, "This is just not my day."
'Actually, Kagome-chan. Things seem to be looking up for you today,' thought Sango contently as she watched her friend seem to slowly come back to life, the beaten look in the eyes fading slightly, as she ranted on about the apparently despicable TA.
"So, What's his name?" she inquired, wanting to know the name of the man who had riled up her friend so much.
Kagome, paused, surprised to be interrupted in the midst of her rant, "I'm pretty sure he said his name was Kawamura Sesshoumaru," she replied after a moment's thought.
Sango paled visibly.
'OH SHIT!,' she thought, 'Why of all people did it have to be Sesshoumaru, who managed to wake up Kagome's spirit?
But then again, Inuyasha always did seem to have had a special skill when it came to angering Kagome, maybe it was hereditary. . . .
Should I tell her?
But she seems so alive right now! Back to the vivacious, passionate Kagome that was like a little sister to me. I can't let that jerk's memory ruin this second chance for her.
Every time anyone even mentions his name, she looks as broken as she did when it first happened. Like she has to start healing all over again.
I can't tell her. . . .' she concluded with grim determination.
Watching Sango's face change from playfully curious to shocked to serious, set off Kagome's subliminal alarm indicating that something was wrong with her friend.
"Sango, are you ok?" Kagome asked, the anger that had previously dominated her face replaced by concern as she surveyed her friend, but the light from her fury still not leaving her eyes.
"I'm fine, Kagome-chan," Sango swiftly replied, before noticing Kagome's incredulous face.
"Shouldn't you get started on that paper? You'll never finish it by Monday if you don't start now," she said quickly, effectively distracting Kagome.
"Oh my god! I still have to go to the library to do research before it closes!" she shouted as she sprinted out of the dorm at a dead run, only to come to a skidding halt a the end of the hall.
Groaning, she turned to sprint back and retrieve her forgotten book bag off her bed and dash off towards the library again. (A/N:: I've done it. So you guys can't say that nobody is stupid enough to do that. . .)
* * * * * * * * End Flash Back * * * * * * * * *
Shaking her head at the memory, Sango thought, 'At least, I didn't have to lie to her face. I don't think that I could betray someone as trusting as Kagome.
Sesshoumaru didn't even remember Miroku, or me, but then again he always went out of his way to ignore or antagonize and fight Inuyasha. Not exactly the best conditions to make friends under and we didn't even become close with Inuyasha until after Kagome transferred here and by then Sesshoumaru was off at college.'
Slowly she realized that the car had come to a halt and looked up at Miroku's gentle face.
The face that had won her over, and betrayed the kindness that lay behind his perverted actions.
Sango slipped out of the car and stood beside Miroku as they climbed the steps to Sesshoumaru's apartment, their hands instinctively slipping into one another, fingers laced, as if bracing themselves for the storm that they knew was coming. Giving her hand a reassuring squeeze and a carefree smile that was now calming in its own way, Miroku knocked on the door.
(A/N:: I actually have up to here written, proofread, and ready to post and it is 11-56 PM Sat. but I know that you guys would kill me if I left u hanging like that so....)
~*~*~*~
Inside of the brightly-lit apartment, Sesshoumaru handed Inutaisho a can of paint after he had insisted upon helping his son paint his apartment. Meanwhile Sakura wandered around the apartment creating a mental list of things that her stepson would need and silently marveling at how he could afford this place.
When
Inuyasha glared at his brother desperately attempting to discern exactly what his intentions were with Kagome and how the HELL they knew each other.
He couldn't help but notice some of the changes that were apparent in his brother. He might be blind when angry, but he wasn't a complete idiot.
With Kagome Sesshoumaru's manner had been softer . . . Kind, almost gentle, in a way that he had never seen in his brother before. Sesshoumaru hadn't even insulted him yet, well at least not the biting, cruel comments that he usually made, just the few casual barbs and his normal insulting manner.
It confused the hell out of him. . .
And what was Kagome doing here!?! And with his brother no less! Nothing about this situation made any sense.
'I haven't seen her in years what the fuck is she doing here all of a sudden!!
And with that bastard Sesshoumaru of all people! What the hell were they doing on top of each other like that and what the hell is with Sesshoumaru!
God, none of this makes any sense!!' he thought with a groan.
'Is Kagome still mad at me?' he thought as his face softened
'She looked so hurt. . . She ran out of here as soon as Sesshoumaru gave her the chance. It was like she was trying to run away or escape.
Trying to escape me. . .
I'm sorry Kagome. I never meant to make you leave. I never meant to betray you.
I never meant to break your heart. . .' ~*~*~*~
Sesshoumaru looked up as he heard two swift, sure knocks on his door, soft, almost luminescent white bangs sliding across the pale skin of his forehead as he lifted his head. The paint that had marred his face seemed almost sacrilegious now, and had been washed off at the first opportunity with grace.
(A/N:: I don't know about you but I always look stupid and red-faced after I wash my face, so I just thought to mention that Sesshoumaru still looked cool, of course)
Glancing over, he saw that his troublesome half-brother was still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest glaring at him, and did not seem to be making any move to help or answer the door.
Typical. . .
He walked over to the door with his characteristic smooth grace, and opened it to find Kagome's friends standing there looking as though they were about to face their doom in the form of a very bloody death, but were determined to do so with courage.
Fuck. . .
He had completely forgotten that Kagome had asked them to help him move in, completely without his knowledge of course. He couldn't help but feel that he was slowly, subtly, but surely, being pushed into a friendship with the two, and the last thing he need today was more incompetent fools to deal with.
His patience was already being stretched to its limits with Inuyasha and his family here, ruining what had started out as a peaceful and actually pleasant day. Though surprisingly enough he did not feel the normal intense burning anger and resentment towards the brat and mindless desire to inflict pain that Inuyasha's presence would normally illicit from him, merely deep annoyance with the boy.
Was it her? Did Kagome's soothing presence somehow manage to calm his anger and hatred for his family, specifically his little brother?
Sesshoumaru gave them a cool glance, barely acknowledging their presence, as he stepped aside to let them into the apartment.
"Come in," he said in his normal commanding, emotionless voice.
~*~*~*~
Inuyasha clenched his fists as he saw his brother start to walk towards him, only to head past him to open the door. What he saw when the door opened made his eyes go as round as grapefruits.
'WHAT THE FUCK ARE MIROKU AND SANGO DOING HERE!?!?!
What the hell is this a bloody conspiracy?!?!' Inuyasha mentally screamed fed up with the multiple blasts from his past that seemed to be determined to ruin his day, and all seemed to know his brother.
Vaguely he noticed that Miroku and Sango were holding hands, as he pushed past his brother and dragged his two friends outside. Slamming the door behind him, he whirled around to face them before shouting,
"Somebody explain to me what the HELL is going on here!"
~*~*~*~
Noticing Sango's distress, Miroku stepped forward and placed a hand in the middle of Inuyasha's chest effectively pushing him back a step.
"Calm down, Inuyasha," he said, his voice characteristically level and calm, "Yelling will get you nowhere."
"The hell it won't," Inuyasha replied, his face turning red from anger, "What the fuck is going on here, Miroku. What is with Sesshoumaru, and why the hell does he know Kagome!?! And why didn't any of you morons tell me she was here?!?!"
"It is quite obvious that Kagome-sama (A/N:: yes, he still calls her this. Why will be revealed later on!) did not wish to see you, or she would have let you know where she was. We were not about to go against those wishes and reveal her location.
As to the rest, Kagome goes to Tokyo University (A/N:: Sorry, it's the only Japanese college I know, woah 2 A/N in one quote), just as Sesshoumaru does. They are close
Inuyasha stood frozen attempting to process all of the information that he had just been given. '
"Besides," Sango continued, stepping out from behind Miroku after having regained her normal strength, "YOU have no right to intrude on Kagome's life anymore! Or question any relationship she has with your brother!"
Sango advanced on the now vaguely frightened boy with all the eminence of a mother bear protecting her fallen cub. Poking her finger angrily into Inuyasha chest and pushing him back towards the railing of the staircase, she continued, "You have done nothing but hurt her! You gave up all claims you ever had to, even her friendship, when you betrayed with Kikyou like that! You broke her heart, and didn't even have to do it honestly!"
Pinned against the railing, Inuyasha was now shrinking slightly in terror of the infuriated girl that stood before him, searching around for an escape route as each cutting word filled him with guilt.
Still fuming, Sango said in a dangerously quiet voice, "Inuyasha, you have finally made your choice. Live with it, and leave Kagome alone, you unbelievably, selfish jerk."
She spun around and stormed back into the apartment, leaving two very surprised boys in her wake.
'Wow! What a woman!' thought Miroku, as he watched how her eyes shone with fight when she had quickly managed to change Inuyasha's demeanor from challenging and angry to frightened and guilty.
~*~*~*~
Kagome walked the final steps to Sesshoumaru's apartment a grim, determined expression set on her face, and a can of paint tightly gripped in each white-knuckled hand.
Pausing at the door, she plastered a tight-lipped version of her normal cheery smile on her face and knocked on the door, bracing herself for the worst.
She sighed in relief as she saw the door open, revealing Sesshoumaru, his expression quickly changing from mild annoyance to concern as he saw a pale, shaky Kagome bravely smile up at him, her eyes filled with old sorrow. Sesshoumaru placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and slowly led her back into the apartment, resolving to question her at the first opportunity, when she didn't appear so fragile.
As she stepped into the living room, her fake smile bloomed into one of genuine thanks as she felt the familiar calm of Sesshoumaru's presence surround and cushion her, making the pains of yesterday seem more distant and easier to bear. (A/N :: I kno sorta tacky, but I am hacking up a lung here and slightly feverish so give me a break)
She glanced around the room, noticing the addition of Miroku and Sango, who kept shooting warning glares at Inuyasha. Inutaisho seemed out of place painting the last pink wall of the room white, and a new women, who appeared in be in the late thirties or early forties, was examining the kitchen drawers. Finally, she allowed herself to look at the boy himself. He had not changed that much in years since she had last seen him with the same boyish, moody face she had grown accustomed to. Noticing that his attention was not on her, she followed his glare to Sesshoumaru's back as he (A/N:: Fluffy, not Inu) picked up a roller and began to help his father paint the last wall.
Not knowing what to do, she went up to greet Sango and Miroku, hoping that her friends would not be so 'loyal' as to make a scene with Inuyasha. She didn't think that she could deal with that right now.
"Kagome-chan!" Sango exclaimed, concern for her friend evident in her eyes, "Are you ok?" she inquired in a hushed voice.
Giving her a tired smile, Kagome responded, "Yes, I'm fine, Sango. You don't have to worry about it. It was a long time ago, ne?"
Recognizing the pained look that was hidden deep in Kagome's eye, Sango replied with a faint "Right, Kagome-chan, Right", as she inwardly cursed Inuyasha for bringing those shadows back to her face.
Miroku gazed at her, noticing the faint redness surrounding her eyes, proving that she had done more than simply "gone out to buy paint" as Sesshoumaru had curtly informed them.
He glanced at the arrogant figure that seemed out of place performing such a menial task as wall painting. How he had managed to "wake up" Kagome, as Sango had said, he would never know? His personality was so contrasting to that of hers, even more so than Inuyasha's had been, but then again maybe that was a good thing.
He was cool and collected, while she was so often frazzled. He was suspicious where she was almost naively trusting. Mature and jaded where, despite all that she had been through in life, she was still innocent.
He could protect her from the outside world.
And she would bring him out of his icy shell to live in it.
'Well, he might be a jerk to the rest of us, but he treats Kagome the way that she deserves, well at least now he does. Its hard to believe that she could change him like that.
He acts so cold and harsh most of the time, though admittedly not as much as he used to. But the man still has that icy sense of danger surrounding him, especially during his kendo matches' Miroku thought with a shudder, remembering the few times he had seen Sesshoumaru compete.
'But around her he's almost gentle, and definitely more peaceful than distanced.
And, I don't care what they say, there's definitely something going on between those too, even if they are too stubborn to admit it, or do anything about it. If Kagome hadn't had so many bad relationships before, especially with Inuyasha, she would have the sense to go for it.
And of course, Sesshoumaru, was . . . well . . .
'Sesshoumaru,' thought Miroku.
(A/N:: I've combined several chapters for this one posting, just to get them in there.)