Your story and I guess plot? is very good and I enjoyed reading it. The ideas you present are interesting and original.

HOWEVER, as a fellow writer I am very disappointed with the amount of grammar errors and sentence structure in your story. I know that every story will have such mistakes (and I'm personally not that great at them either) but these two things are important aspects of all stories and help make everything flow. I suggest that as you write, you should also find time to edit your chapters. Some of your mistakes include run on sentences, not finishing your names/words/sentences, and also capitalization problems. I also suggest that you might want to expand your chapters to be more detailed. I feel that your story is moving to quickly without developing the characters and plot to their full extent. It leaves many questions that have yet to be answered. Some of these include how quickly the fates suddenly erased Kagome's memories. Why did they do that so quickly? Wasn't she accepting the position she was placed in all ready so why did they take her memories away? There is also no personalities or "essence" of the fates they just suddenly appear and it throws the readers off.

Details on the background and the location of the characters would be nice, such as the room or the castle/palace (wherever their staying at) would be nice as well.

Also, I thought it was a bit unrealistic to have a servant be err..interested in a SIX year old Kagome. I mean I get what Sesshoumaru's beast is mad about but still it is awkward and I felt it was randomly placed. Perhaps the scene would've been better if Kagome had been older but in this scene it did not fit. I also did not think you meant the servant to be a pedophile or anything (or at least I did not sense that it was your intent).

This might seem like I'm criticizing your work but this isn't what I'm trying to do. I really do like your story and I just thought that some of these elements that I mentioned above might improve and help you. ^_____^ Good luck and please keep updating!

intersting story, i like how kagome changed into an angel and sesshoumaru and lord and lady of the west still remember her when she was little. great story and keep it up!!

its pass the 22 and no new chaps.

plz plz plz plz update i love this story and i want to know what happens plz update

ok so i luved da story line and i usually write nice and cheery reveiws but i had 2 say somthin!it wuz irritating me!!!!i jst wanted 2 say ur sentences were 2 long.u need more periods. ex
"Beside her sesshomaru stirred without her notice and just watched her but when she was about to look up at him he closed his eyes again so not to catch her attention."
u should hav written(wit out da IM)
b-side her sess jst stirred witout her notice'.'when she wuz bout 2 look up at him he closed his eyes again so not 2 catch her attention.
it jst sounds alot better and iz easyer 2 follow!!!other thab dat luved ur story and hope dat this can improve ur allready terrifick fanfic

so cute. i love a young kagome and sesshoumaru

so cute. i love a young kagome and sesshoumaru

I like it. Update soon

I like this story but does she really have to be 6 can't you make her a little older like 12 or 13. I think that would have been better but hey I still like the story please be sure to up date THXZZZZZ

This story is really good keep updating. there is one thing that i would like to request and that is longer chapters other than that keep up with the story

wow! this story is awesome!!! PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!!1

I like the story.. It'd be nice if the chapters were longer... but other then that I'm starting to really like the story... please continue!!!

nice story

you have a lot of talent

you have a lot of talent

Sok, I love it so far! I have to agree, it is ALOT esier to update when people review, it lets u know that people are atleast reading it, ne? Please update soon!
~Kira

Awesome!!
I cant wait for the rest of it!

Awesome!!
I cant wait for the rest of it!

You should continue.This is a really good story.If you need any help jut contact me!
Keonna

i like your story so far...it has the potiental to be something that i sit and wait at my computer to read..who im kidding it is already lol when i read this part "Kagome climbed out of the well. Thats when she was knocked out by something from behind her." i thought that sess did it and brought her to the castle saying dad this girl came out of the well and it scared me so i knocked her out and well... here we are lol