danny if i think your story is good and everything but if your still i need of a beta i would be more than happy to help other then that please continue with the story update soon

Sheena

Hi..
Perhaps if you used a spell and grammar checker - there is software that you can use, Word has it, I'm sure you can find some sort of writing software that will also have it.

It's hard to read the story, I suspect that is the reason for the low voting average. I would guess that you have some good ideas, but the spelling and syntax.. the lack of regular punctuation, the odd quotes or lack of quotes, the lack of capitals where they are needed, all of these make it difficult to appreciate what you are trying to convey in your stories.

Also, even in the title - "my world is messed up and your calm!!" No capitals? and "your" is the possessive.. "your story, your bicycle, your book" but "My World is Messed up and You're Calm!" it's "you are" You are calm.. the contraction of you and are.

These are things that if you paid more attention to, would be a bit cleaner and easier to read - a beta can certainly help and I hope you do find one or have found one, but basic usage is something that you will want to concentrate on.

Keep writing, and keep learning.. as you learn more, your stories will become better, better written, and more enjoyable.

Best of luck to you! :)

Very very very not bad, Danny. Congrats on the beta. Your story's coming along real good.

this story is vary good but the chapters are way to short can you please make them a little longer.........i'm captivated by your story!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fan fic is good and i really want to know what happens next. please update soon!!!!!!!!

please update soon