Don't for get to put spaces in your story, or it'll be bunched up and will be hard to read to some people and will not bother to read.

Don't for get to put spaces in your story, or it'll be bunched up and will be hard to read to some people and will not bother to read.

Listen, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but what's the use of posting something with only 29 words? Also, I'm not so excelent at writing, but it is almost elementary that when writing a story, you should know that two people talking should not be in the same paragraph much less the same sentence. Like you said this is your first story and I'm trying to be a little helpful, because I know I would want people to do the same

Please don't get angry, I'm just trying to give a little constructive criticism. Also, I would like to point out, if you already didn't know, you double posted the story.
Other than that good luck to you with this story, I hope your next chapter is longer. ^^

More words please theres only 29 of them