Hurts Like Love by Kokoro

Chapter 1

Authors Note: I have changed the rating because of content in later chapters, as I did not understand fully how to properly rate the story on this particular site. I'm sorry for any inconvience I have caused.         

   “You are weak, slow, and untrained. If not for how well you care for Rin, you would have no place here.” the cold male stated. The teenage girl nodded as she washed the dishes from the evening meal. “Forgive me. I know that I am useless, but I am doing my best considering I have no training. I did not mean to get in the way… again.” she apologized meekly.

The girl had lost her inner fire, her will to fight. Three years of insults about being weak or not good enough had broken her spirit. After the final battle when she lost her ability to travel through the time portal had crushed her. When Sango and Miroku were wed, she smiled and congratulated them. Shippo had left with them, hoping to find a kitsune to train him on the way. Inuyasha had grouched and eventually went to hell with Kikyou.

She had been alone, simply trying to keep her will to live. A few weeks later, Sesshomaru found her and after much begging done by Rin, had allowed her to join them. They had been travelling the western lands for months now. Even as he insulted her and continued to strengthen the depression within her, she had fallen in love with him. Unfortunately, she kept finding herself in his way when he fought the enemies that wanted to challenge him to rule over the west. “You would do well to not get in the way when I am fighting. Eventually, you will find yourself run through with a sword; either by my hand or my enemy’s.” he warned her.

“I understand. Um… would it be possible to go to the tajiya village?” she asked. “Why?” he demanded. “I… I would like to visit my friends and I was going to ask Sango-chan for a bow. The one I have is near breaking.” She explained. “Very well. Mount Ah-Un with Rin and we will go.” He ordered. She rushed to comply, packing away the dishes, dousing the fire, and mounting Ah-Un with a half asleep Rin. Just after Sesshomaru formed his cloud and started towards the village, Ah-Un took off after him and Kagome held Rin as the little girl fell completely asleep.

She remembered all the times she had gotten in the way the past few months and sighed; her depression, self-hate, and suicidal thoughts taking hold of her. I wish I could float away. It was this thought that scared her the most. Her urges to interfere in the battles he fought were even more frightening; because every day that passed strengthened them.

She had caught herself many times wondering what it would be like to be impaled by a sword or dagger during these fights. Many of his enemies thought to attack her to distract him and she was curious to know the bliss of being taken from her troubles on the physical plain. But she couldn’t; she had to honor her word and care for his ward. Until the young girl was old enough to live in a normal village on her own, she would care for her and force herself to live.

Kagome sagged forward slightly, but jolted awake when she felt Sesshomaru beside her. “Sleep, miko.” He said. This order was soft, so very unlike how he normally spoke to her. It reminded her of how Inuyasha used to act around her when he was human or no one was around to see. It brought unbidden tears to her eyes.

“What is with you inu youkai? You are cruel for appearance, but when no one can see you are kind. Is that normal, or is just your bloodline?” she asked, almost too quietly for him to hear. When he finally processed what she had said, he growled angrily. “Do not compare me to my baka half-breed brother. I am merely speaking softly so as not to wake Rin.” He retorted cruelly.

“Of course; because you would rather not have a grumpy Rin on your hands that you can immediately pass her off to me to deal with. Go… go be a cold ass hole a little in front of us. I’ll sleep after I talk to Sango.” She whispered, tiredly waving him off. He sent her a scathing glare before flying ahead.

“You may not believe it, but you are more like your brother and father than you care to think about.” Kagome told him tiredly. He was back beside her in a second, giving her his best death glare. “How do you see that, miko?” he asked with barely reigned fury.

“You put up a mask of indifference to hide your heart, while Inuyasha put up a mask of anger. Inuyasha fell in love with a human, and you love a human as if she were your own pup. You keep your promises, like when you protect Rin; and Inuyasha kept his promise to go to hell with Kikyou. There are so many similarities between the two of you, whether you like it or not.” she finished. “I could kill you for that.” he threatened.

“You won’t. For one, it would make Rin sad. For another, you’ve already tried to kill me many times and not been able to. What makes you believe this time will be any different?” she questioned rhetorically. He sent her another glare before moving back to his place ahead of Ah-Un. “There’s something I must ask you.” Kagome told him, breaking the silence.

“Speak, miko.” He decided. “Once Rin is of age in a week, would you consider taking me back to the well?” she asked. “You cannot go through the well any longer, why would you want to return to it?” he questioned.

“It is as close to my family as I can get. And even if I can’t get through, I can try to send them something to tell them that I’m alive, and that I love and miss them. They deserve to know what happened and why I couldn’t go home. My little brother deserves to know why I’ll never be able to support him like a big sister should. I can’t leave them to wonder if I was killed by a low level youkai; or if I became Kouga’s… mate; or if I just forgot about them.”

“My family… they supported me even though they were worried I would never come back. At least if I go back to the well and send them something, they won’t worry about me living a happy life. I can at least give them that for all they’ve done for me.” she answered, holding her tears back. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Kagome worried if she would be denied. Finally, he gave her a slight nod and turned back to watch where he was going.

            They travelled by air for two hours before he and Ah-Un finally landed in the middle of a village. Immediately, they were surrounded by young tajiyas in training. “Who intrudes on our village this late?” called a tired voice that Kagome knew well. “Miroku-sama, Sango-chan, it’s Kagome. Don’t worry, I’m travelling with Sesshomaru. He won’t hurt you.” She called.

“Kagome-chan? I thought you were going to go home.” Sango said, confused as she moved to hug her sister-like friend. Kagome got off of Ah-Un carefully so Rin wouldn’t fall, and then hugged her friends before she spoke. “I know you thought that. I’ll explain everything when I can, but first I need somewhere for Rin and myself to sleep.” She said tiredly.

“Of course. You can both sleep in our home.” Miroku decided. Sango led the two girls to one of the larger huts in the village explaining that Miroku had become the headman since her father was the last headman. “You’ve done great rebuilding the village.” Kagome complimented.

“Thank you. We’ve been accepting people who want to live here and learn the way of our people. Kagome, what’s happened since we last saw you? Why are you travelling with Sesshomaru?” Sango asked. “Sango, honestly a lot has happened and I’m far too tired to try to explain everything tonight.” Kagome replied.

“Alright, you two can have this room, since I know you would rather just share a room with Rin. I’ll see you in the morning Kagome-chan.” Sango sighed, knowing that something must have happened for her friend to look so sad. She left Kagome and Rin to sleep, deciding it would be wise to wait until morning to get answers out of her sister-like friend.