I own nothing, and in doing so I am not, once agian not, making any profit off of this story. I'm just playing with the characters and Sesshoumaur's head for a little while. All credit goes to the respected owners. Once again I own nothing except Takamatsu and Athrun.
The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz Media. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 1
~ “Strong people make as many and as ghastly mistakes as weak people. The difference is that strong people admit them, laugh at them, learn form them. This is how they become strong.”--Richard Needham
~ “You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else.”--Anonymous
It had been four years since she had seen him last. Four long, grueling years filled with bittersweet memories and nights when more often than not, she had cried herself to sleep.
She wanted nothing more than to hate him, to forget about everything, their past, and what was supposed to be their future. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in her nature to hate, and it is very difficult to forget when every night she heard his voice whispering into her ear and felt his phantom caress in her dreams.
It had taken her those four years to piece back together her world and now that she was finally moving on with some semblance of the life that she had before, he arrogantly waltzed right back into her life. He appeared on her porch like he owned it, the same way he still owned her dreams. He said he wanted to talk.
“What do you want Sesshoumaru?” She asked, her teeth snapping together as her tongue tasted his name on her lips for the first time in years. It was a wonderful poison that made her crave more.
She ignored the way her heart lurched at the sight of him. Crossing her arms she leaned her hip against the door frame, blocking him from entering. Silently she sized him up, knowing instinctually he was doing the same. He looked older, dark circles were stark against his perfect skin. His hair was tied back into a low pony tail, something that was surprising. Sesshoumaru had always worn his hair loose; ever since she had known him. Other than that he was the same, beautiful gold eyes that were shinning at her like twin suns with a body that could have been carved by Michelangelo himself. He was a being of utmost beauty and death, it showed on every angle of his face, and poured from him in waves. He still sucked the oxygen right out of the room with his presence.
For a moment she was tempted to slam the door in his beautiful face, but he wanted to talk and the only way that she was truly ever going to get rid of him was to hear him out. She sure as hell didn’t want to talk. She wanted him gone, gone like he had been three years ago. It took her a year to realize just what all that word meant. Gone meant she would never again wake up next to him, or feel the way her hand fit perfectly into his, and a million other things that described gone all too well. That was when she had realized that he really was gone.
“Are you going to invite me in? Your manners have grown lax Kagome.” His voice was surprisingly warm, and held a hint of amusement, and “Damn!” she cursed inwardly, it still sent shivers down her spine.
Smiling sweetly while gritting her teeth behind it to hide her anger, she shook her head. “Sorry, I’m expecting company. So if you could please get to the point of your visit, I can finish what I was doing.”
One perfect silver eyebrow rose at the tone of her voice. “What I have to say, I would prefer to be heard only by you.”
Fighting the urge to groan, Kagome stepped away from the door, allowing the powerful inu youkai into her small home. Why did her mother raise her to be a good person? Why couldn’t she be a bitch sometimes like Kagura kept on telling her to be?
“Ok, you have five minutes,” she said as she closed the door. She was cooking and she was willing to bet her last quarter he knew it before she had even opened the door. With his nose, he could probably smell it a mile away.
She watched him for a moment as he glanced about the living room. It was a sparse room; the walls were covered in bookshelves that were filled to their capacity with knickknacks, pictures and books. Shear cream curtains were drawn from the bay window that looked out over her woods filled back yard, allowing sunshine into the room. A couch, and a comfy chaise lounge and coffee table were arranged in the middle of the floor, filling the small space with coziness.
Sesshoumaru took a delicate, almost inconspicuous sniff and then turned to her. “Your sauce is burning.”
Cursing under her breath Kagome ran into the kitchen just in time to stop several pots from boiling over. She was making chicken Alfredo, a dish that he had loved in the past. She stirred the sauce and turned around to find Sesshoumaru standing directly behind her, a little too close for comfort.
He was looking down at her intently, his breath caressing her face, and a message hidden within his eyes that she had no desire to read. Swallowing at his close proximity, Kagome felt goose bumps form on her skin as his breath fanned across her neck.
Stepping sideways she made her way to a cabinet across the small kitchen. “Thank you. Now, if you will, please tell me exactly why you are here?” She demanded. Reaching into the cabinet she pulled down four plates. Setting them on the counter she turned to face him again, her hands on her hips, in the international feminine gesture of impatience.
Sesshoumaru looked at her stoically, but buried deep within his eyes was a uncertainty flickered. ‘Good’ Kagome thought angrily. She wanted him just as unbalanced as she was.
“How have you been Kagome?” He asked quietly. He was looking around again, his eyes capturing everything with in their gold depths.
“Wonderful, and yourself?” It was true. For the past year and a half, her life had been at its best since he had left.
“Well enough.” He replied automatically. He looked it too. He was dressed in another one of those fashionable suits he seemed to love so much, and this one seemed specifically designed to bring out his eyes, the deep navy contrasting sharply with his gold depths, and bringing out the deeper flecks near the rims.
He had always said that there was no point in owning something unless it was the best. He certainly had it now, and it wasn’t just his father’s money. It was his own, if she was correct.
He was constantly in the news and on the cover of nearly every business magazine. It seemed that he had inherited his father’s golden touch when it came to being an entrepreneur. Money could be made just by saying his name.
Kagome, however, was the complete opposite. It was not that she didn’t like nice things. It was just, nothing could really compare to the comfort of putting on an old comfortable pair of jeans. Money didn’t make her world go round. Her friends and family did . She liked things to be elegant, yet above all simple. Sighing Kagome realized just how out of place her ex-husband looked in her quaint home.
“You didn’t come all this way just to ask me that Sesshoumaru. Why are you really here? And this time answer me.”
He turned his gaze away from a picture of her and a small, dark haired, dark eyed girl, to capture hers.
“Why did you leave?”
Confused, Kagome blinked several times. “Excuse me? You are the one who left me .”
Kagome could have sworn she saw him sigh before he shook his head. “No. Why did you leave the city?”
She shrugged, “After the divorce, I wanted to get out and see what else there was in the world for me. Besides, there was nothing left for me there.”
That same eyebrow rose again at her comment, signifying his surprise like a banner. “Your friends and family.” It was more of a statement than a question, yet she still knew he wanted her to explain.
“They understood. I think they would have suggested it eventually if I hadn’t made the decision myself. I was a mess, Sesshoumaru. You knew that better than anyone.”
Her eyes met his and for a moment she was standing in a courtroom, listening as the judge declared the divorce finalized. She had met his eyes in that moment, her eyes filled with tears, pleading with him to explain why he was doing this, and what had gone wrong.
He had stared back at her, cold and uncaring, as though he was staring at a wall. He turned away a moment later and never looked back. It had been the last time she had seen him in person, until now.
“I needed to take care of myself for a while, and to do that I had to get away.”
‘To forget.’
Following him into the living room she picked up a picture frame from the bookshelf closest to her. It was the single picture she still had of him. The only reason it hadn’t been destroyed with all the others was because it had been taken on her birthday and contained all of her friends.
It had been her twentieth birthday party, and the one year she had forgotten completely about it. Sesshoumaru had planned the party, getting ideas and information from Sango and Kikyo.
The party had been at a park near her family’s shrine. All the trees there had been decorated with hanging lanterns, while floating candles, lilies and cherry blossoms drifted together in the basin of a large fountain. There had been music, food and dancing. All in all it had been the most wonderful night of her life. It was also the night Sesshoumaru had proposed.
The picture had been taken by her mother at the height of the party. Everyone had gathered around the happy couple and were smiling at Kagome’s obvious joy at marrying the man she loved. Even Sesshoumaru’s normally stoic face wore a small smile.
Shoving memories aside for another day, she traced her friends’ faces. She missed them all so much, but they still talked whenever the chance arose. No doubt she would be talking with them in the very near future.
“Why are you here?” She asked quietly, still looking at the picture. His five minutes were up, and she wanted this…this meeting…over and done with.
Gold clashed with dark brown while she waited for his answer.
“I would like to like to invite you to dinner.”
The picture slipped from Kagome’s hands like running water. Her heart seemed to have stopped, it was nothing more than a block of ice stuck in her chest.
“Excuse me?” Kami, was she saying that a lot suddenly.
“I want a second chance.” He took a step towards her.
Kagome’s heart resumed beating, the ice melted by her sudden furry. Bending down she retrieved the picture frame, slightly glad that the glass hadn’t broken.
“Oh, really? And what, may I ask, brought you to this conclusion?”
She glared up at him, ignoring the way his eyes seemed to plead with her to understand. She knew that look; it was the same one she had given him in the courtroom four years ago.
“I was wrong. I never should have left you.” He held out his hand. “Please, Piccola, a second chance.”
Kagome’s heart clenched at the nickname. ‘Little one.’ how many times had he called her that? Better yet, how many times had she dreamed of this moment and what she would say? How she would kiss him and, laughing, say yes.
He would promptly sweep her off her feet and whisk her into her bedroom, where he would show her exactly how much he had missed her, and how much he loved her still. Then, in the afterglow, he would tell her why he had left and she would forgive him.
They were cheesy romance novel dreams, but they had been her dreams none the less. Dreams that she had prayed, night and day would come true but those dreams had died. They had drowned in the tears she had cried upon waking from them night after night. Yet here they were, coming true.
She looked at his offered hand and, for the briefest moment, remembered how it had felt to hold that hand. How right it had felt. Blinking back tears that were suddenly threatening to spill from behind her eyes she shook her head.
“I can’t.” She whispered quietly.
He still waited, his eyes seeming to see straight into her soul.
“Can’t or won’t, Piccola? I know you yearn for me as I do for you. Why not try once again?”
Kagome was saved from having to answer by the sound of the backdoor slamming open. Sending a silent prayer to whatever deity who was listening, Kagome turned to meet the arrivals.
A large white dog came bounding into the room. He was enormous and would easily have reached Sesshoumaru’s height had he stood on his back paws.
The ‘happy’ expression on the pooch’s face turned into a snarl as he spotted the Inu youkai so close to Kagome. He crept up to her side and bared his fangs at the intruder, his fur clearly standing on end.
Kagome quickly grabbed onto the dog’s collar as it growled at Sesshoumaru, the dog’s blue eyes hard as he stared down the trespasser. The growl ceased as Kagome shushed him with a firm command to stay.
A little girl came bounding in next, dressed in an orange and white sundress, with a white sun hat that had a handful of orange and pink flowers thrust into the band. Her brown hair fell to her shoulders in waves while her large fawn like eyes sparkled with excitement.
She ran up and with a cry of “mommy” threw herself into Kagome’s arms.
“Mommy guess what Athrun and Rin did to Shippo!” She said ignoring the stranger.
Smiling, and hoping against hope that Sesshoumaru wouldn’t make a scene Kagome bounced the little girl on her hip. “What did you do?”
“We pushed him into a puddle” She exclaimed happily. She then launched into a story, speaking so rapidly that Kagome found it hard to follow.
“And then, Shippo-chan took Rin’s hat. Rin told him to give it back but he wouldn’t! So Athrun helped Rin push him into a puddle!”
Kagome’s face twitched as the desire to laugh nearly broke through her parenting resolve. She wondered suddenly how her own mother had managed with her and her brother. God they had been awful. Shaking her head she put the little girl on the floor, and called upon her best scolding tone.
“Rin it’s not nice to push people, no matter what the situation."
The little girl looked down as she dragged one white sandaled toe across the rug.
"Yes Mommy."
"Did you say sorry?"
Rin shook her head, staring at the floor.
"Well Squirt you better. Or no dessert tonight." Kagome said patting the little girl on the head.
Eyes widening, Rin nod her head vigorously several times before she noticed Sesshoumaru.
"Hello! Who are you? Rin's name is Rin."
Sesshoumaru looked at the child with an unreadable expression before looking to her mother.
Kagome felt her heart and stomach drop to her feet with that look. 'He knows.' Swallowing hard she looked down at her daughter.
"Rin this is Taisho Sesshoumaru. He's uncle Yasha's older brother."
Rin's mouth formed a small ‘o’ as she looked up at him.
Glancing at her ex out of the corner of her eye Kagome nudged the child.
"Go wash up for dinner, please."
Rin chirped a happy "Yes Mommy" and dipped a small curtsey to Sesshoumaru before skipping off to the bathroom, the white dog, her accomplice, trotting at her heels.
Sesshoumaru’s eyes followed the child until she disappeared around a corner, before instantly returning to Kagome. She was once again looking at the picture that she held in her hand.
She was close to tears, the scent of salt was harsh compared to her own, compared to the fading scent of the child. His child. HIS! The realization hit him like a proverbial ton of bricks. He almost wished it had been a physical blow, anything would be better than the mind searing numbness he now felt. It was spreading through his body like ice water, freezing his heart, lungs and all possible movement.
He wanted to be angry; she had hidden their child from him. She had taken away three or four years of life that he could never get back. The child was human as well. Completely human, so her time was twice as precious no priceless . He needed to be a part of his daughter’s world, of his soul mate’s world.
Sunlight pierced his heart then. Joy so strong and powerful that it burned away the anger he had felt moments before. He found his body moving of its own accord and he finally did the one thing that he had wanted to do since he had knocked on her door. He swept her into his arms, his hands tangling themselves into her long dark hair, while his nose buried into the crook of her neck. The place his mark should have been, and would soon be if he had his way. And Sesshoumaru always got his way.
Kagome didn’t accept his embrace. She just stood there, feeling very much like a plank of wood. Her emotions and thoughts were whirling about her mind like a swarm of angry hornets, each idea and fear stabbing into her like a stinger. She had always known this day would come, but she’d never guessed that it would have been so soon.
’He has to know,’ she thought resolutely as she made an effort to pull away.
Sensing that she had something to say Sesshoumaru loosed his grip, but kept her within the circle of his arms.
Her expression was forlorn and defeated, an expression he wanted to kiss right off her face. He would have too, if she hadn’t been chewing on her bottom lip. It was a habit he found both endearing and innocent.
Finally she opened her mouth to speak. “Sesshoumaru….Rin is….”
He nodded once. “I know.” He said quietly, wanting to save her the agony of telling him something his nose already had.
She shook her head and a lone tear escaped from her eyes.
“No, you don’t,” She whispered quietly and pulled away from his embrace entirely.
Wondering what she could possibly be upset over he let her go. He would of course claim the child, and Rin his Rin would grow up with a family, a mother and a father, and more siblings to come. While he was making a mental list of all the things they would need in the next few days, Kagome returned the picture to its spot among her books.
“After I left, I decided to go to the places that I had dreamed about. I went every where; New Zealand , Rome , Paris , Egypt , London . I eventually went to New York . It was about two months after the divorce. While I was there, I ended up in the hospital with what I thought was a food poisoning. Turned out, though, that I was about seven months pregnant.”
She turned and looked at him. “I had no idea I was Sesshoumaru. I was on birth control while we were together, and what I had thought to be a side effect of depression was actually morning sickness.”
She sat down on the armchair and looked down at the hardwood flooring, trying to draw strength from the comforting surroundings that she had built on her own. What she was about to say was hard, and the memories of it always made her cry.
“The doctors didn’t think that I would be able to carry her to term because I was just too small and too sick when I got to the hospital. The chances of her surviving were less while I carried her; she simply wasn’t getting enough nutrients. They tried putting me on vitamins but I ended up getting sicker, and began loosing weight that I didn’t have.”
She swallowed hard, tears falling from her eyes. “So they did the only thing left. They induced labor and Rin was put into intensive care. She was so small Sesshoumaru. I could hold her in one hand, almost. The doctors said that even though her odds were better, she had a fifty percent chance of survival with out any major complications.”
Kagome grabbed a tissue from the box on the table and wiped her eyes. “She spent the next three months in the hospital, hooked up to so many machines I thought I would never get the chance to hold just her! Then, despite all odds, she survived. Day by day she got stronger, and when I came home she was a part of my travels that I brought back with me. She was the magic that I had experienced in all those places!”
She looked at him again, not realizing how shockingly beautiful she looked recalling fond memories. “She got me through the years, Sesshoumaru, and nothing else.” She smiled suddenly, “She’s perfect.”
Sesshoumaru knelt in front of her and, looking deep into her eyes, took both of her hands in his own.
“She is our daughter; she can be nothing less than perfect.”
Kagome shook her head quickly, wiping away the remains of her tears on the back of her hand. She stood up, backing away from him. “I don’t know what it was that changed your mind Sesshoumaru, but I won’t let you hurt her.”
Sesshoumaru looked at her calmly. She feared him; her eyes were wide and her actions erratic. He was a threat to her, and as much as he was loath to admit it, this was not within his plans. “I would never harm her, Kagome.”
She laughed at that, but it wasn’t the joyful sound that had once escaped her lips; it was bitter and full of pain. Pain that so easily showed in her sad smile. “You told me something like that before, Sesshoumaru, and it turned out to be a lie.” Tears fell from her eyes once again. “You lied!” She cried brokenly.
Her words were like a knife jammed between his ribs. He had once sworn never to lie to her, and with a sudden insight he realized why she feared him. Standing he held out his hands in a soothing gesture.
“Kagome, I did not come here to take her away from you. You have done what many women never could. I am only asking for a second chance, to do for you and Rin as I should have. Our daughter needs a father.”
“Rin already has a father.”
Sesshoumaru snarled as he whirled around, his eyes instantly landing on a red headed man standing in the kitchen door.
’Correction,’ Sesshoumaru took a sniff. ‘Youkai, kitsune youkai.’
“ Takamatsu .” Kagome cried softly.
“Daddy!” Rin and Athrun came barreling into the room, and the little girl ran straight into the arms of the kitsune.
“Daddy! Tomorrow will you take Rin and Shippo to the Zoo? Rin wants to see the tigers again.”
The fox smiled as he put the girl down. Patting her on the head he shrugged.
“We will see, Rin. However, Shippo is still outside covered in mud.”
Rin looked slightly ashamed. “I should go apologize!” The little girl chirped and dashed out the door.
The room was silent once again, and Sesshoumaru found himself inspecting the kitsune before him. He was tall, and while not quite as well built as Sesshoumaru, carried himself with an air of confidence that only and experienced warrior had. It was in the hold of his shoulders and the strength in his sea green eyes.
Knowing that he was receiving the same treatment, the Taiyoukai continued his scrutiny. Long, golden red hair was tied back into a low pony tail that fell to his hips, the last six inches of it, tipped in white. He was dressed in well-worn pair of jeans and a shirt that showed off a lean, slightly sculpted body.
His face was angular and expressive, and Sesshoumaru found himself desperately wanting to smash his fist into the kitsune’s perfect nose. ‘Anything to wipe that smile off his pert mouth.’
Over all he was like every other kitsune that Sesshoumaru had had the pleasure of meeting; deviously handsome, and quick of wit.
“Sesshoumaru, this is my fiancée, Mukashi Takamatsu,” Kagome said as she made her way to stand beside the fox.
A snarl nearly escaped the inu youkai’s lips as his world came to a screeching halt.
AN: Ok To all those wonderful people who have been following this story I am revamping the chapters, adding more here and there, so this is kinda new stuff, but not really. New chapters comming out sooer/later
PLEASE REVIEW!!! It really does help me to write faster!!!