This story was very cute. i liked it alot :). But i felt it was kind of short. If you continue on with it, maybe showing flash backs and then show the relationship developing and so forth it could be really good.
The only thing is, you dont use spaces after you periods and i think it kind of sqwashes all your senteces together. I almost didnt read it becuase the summary had that same problem, and i asumed it would be full of errors becuase of that. (but it wasnt) Oh and i think you mixed up your quotations. "this is for speaking out loud" and 'this is for reading'.
anyways keep up the good work!
autumngold (Chapter 1) - Thu 01 Oct 2009
Thank you for the beautiful story! I love that Sesshoumaru cared enough to accept her gift. It's also sweet how he protects her! What a great ending! Sesshoumaru gave her a hug, but it means so much more! Sweet!
I love this, it's very sweet and very well written.I love your descriptive passages, you paint a very beautiful picture with words. However, in the second paragraph, I think the second sentence would sound better if it read: In just a few weeks... 3rd sentence affected instead of effected. In the second to last sentence, no comma. In the 6th paragraph, "Open it." should be enclosed in quotation marks as it is speech. And I would remove the word 'before' at the end of that sentence. 3rd from last paragraph I think pulled would be more appropriate than pushed. Just sayin' ;>
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