I found this story and I like it.
It seems like it would be a good story and I know it's been many years since you'vs been at this site but I hope one day you will come back and
finish or at least continue this intriguing tale.
Nicely written.
Great job!!!
That was a really great first chapter! A lot of good stuff :) You seem to be a really good writer.
interesting start, i like that for your first fic you didnt go right to the very cliche getting caught crying and running. I like that a lot actually. i really, as a reader would love it if you broke your paragraphs up just a bit. they're not bad but the last one is a tad long. hmm what else, since this is your first story, take your time, dont rush, if you need one get a beta, they are helpful. and write what you would want to read, those usually come out the best that way. good luck and i cant wait to see more. - r0o
this is sooo good i love it soo much u have to write more soon its really good i love your writeing style it makes it soo i can see the picture in my head and be apart of the story thanks for writeing this story its good ?
This is so exciting! And I really like your writing style. I hope you write more, it is my favorite kind of story...
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