Steamy but also very loving. The only piece of advice I can really think to offer (as I'm not great with poem structure) is that it is sometimes confusing when you jump between Kagome's prespective and Sesshomaru's. Otherwise, I couldn't find anything to "help" you on. Wonderful!

THIS REMINDS ME OF HIAWATHA , IN STYLE AND WORDS. AN INDIAN POEM TO BE READ OVER AND OVER AGAIN!THANK YOU!

I liked the way you separated the two different POV's...it made it easy to follow who was saying what, Your writing was also very well done, I couldn't find and spelling or grammar mistakes. Over all this was a very lovely piece to read, well done and keep up the good work!!

Very interesting and while usually it doesn't work well, I like how you went back and forth between the two of them.  The way you have the layout, it was easy to spot the change in POV.  I think it would have flowed a little better if they had equal sized stanzas, but it was good none the less.  Though I do feel that last sentence is out of place, perhaps if you had half of it from one POV and the other half from the other, rather than it being 'we', I think it would have worked out a bit better.  Really enjoyed this piece :).