I'm glad you updated and thanks for adding in the song. You really made my day. And I can't wait to find out what sort of secrets Kagome is hiding. I look forward to what the guys will say to Kouga... Please update soon! :P
First of all this is very good, and I'm even more impressed upon learning your age. I have to tell you though.... don't get too emotional over reviews it is a normal part of the learning process. Sakeo's input was not overly rude or critical, and should definitely not be considered a flame. She was pointing out some areas that she in particular felt could be improved upon, and at no point was it said that she disliked your work. In fact she praised your idea! This is something very rare in Sess/Kag fan fiction as many of the stories out there are very similar to each other. Honestly I feel that by taking time to give you a "critique" Sakeo was giving a great compliment. She felt that your story was worth the effort to analyze and give you what she felt was an accurate review in the hopes you would be able to take her suggestions into consideration and in the long run improve upon your writing style. Really when you think about it even a less than desirable review is still a compliment. People are reading your story and that's whole point of posting it online isn't it?
That was a very nice chappie... although it was kind of short. I liked it... short and sweet ^.^
I really want to know what sort of secrets Kagome is hiding and how she ended up locked up in a tower to be someone's song bird. This is a very good fic so far. Also, could you somehow incorporate one or both of the following songs?
Everywhere by Michelle Branch
Your a God by Vertical Hortizon - I thought of this song when I read the garden scene between Sess and Kags
I really love these songs and I'm appreciate it if you could find some way to put them in ur fic.
Keep up the good work and update soon.
Woo Hoo! The story continues, DUN DUN DUN! LC is right this is your story and don't let people discourage you from countinuing the story how YOU want it. Your the author not somone else, k hun? Keep the stories coming, I'm counting on you. ^_^
Awww well I was really looking forward to the story but, I hope your family is okay.
Ja Ne
CR
Nice idea, and there aren't too many typos, but the problem is you're glossing over stuff and everyone is ooc. Go into more depth, more explanation in what the characters are doing. The reader should be able to imagine them doing whatever it is you have them doing, as if they're watching instead of reading. And again, OOC-ness. Sesshomaru laughing in front of someone he just saved, in the presence of so many humans? Not plausible unless Sesshomaru is someone else who just happens to look like him and have his name. Give more of a background and I might believe it. You write well enough and I like the idea, but OOC and no depth means I'm not going to be pulled into the story.
Also, in my honest opinion, fics should only have one song written directly in it if its based off of that song. Any other songs should be described, or if written out, then the chapter should be much longer. It may make it look longer as is to you, but I and a lot of other people I know just skip RIGHT over the song parts, making it the chapter a few paragraphs long. Take a look at some of Sunset Miko's stories, THEN say you took a long time to write it.
This is NOT a flame. Again, I like the idea, but it needs a good amount of work. I dont believe in telling people "Oh it's soooo great!!" when inside I'm thinking what could be better. Critiques are what are needed to improve writing. Thus, I critique.
-Saeko
Aww, the poor dear. Hope you update soon! But I know how life can get in the way! ^.^
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